5 Myths About Gay Relationships & Sex

Sam More

Myths. Some are fascinating, some are ridiculous and some are downright offensive! Regardless, myths are a part of life and many can be debunked! And today, we’ll be listing 5 common myths about gays, gay relationships and sex. 

THOSE type of questions.

If you’re currently in or have been in a gay relationship in the past, there’s no chance you haven’t heard this question. It was probably from a straight girl named Tiffany who claims to be an Ally. “So like who’s the girl and who’s the guy in the relationship?”.  Oh Tiffany… When will you ever learn? There’s no “girl” and no “guy” in the relationship, I'm pretty sure the whole point is that it’s two guys. This question can be annoying to answer and it honestly boggles my mind. The myth that there has to be assigned feminine and masculine roles in a gay relationship supports such an outdated archetype. 

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Stream “positions” by Ariana Grande

This is another question I notice the gays get a lot. When gays get into a new relationship, I notice nosy friends always have to ask “Who’s the top and who’s the bottom?” Much like the first question of who is the girl and who is the guy in the relationship, this question seems outdated and honestly intrusive. The myth that there has to be these assigned rules (or in this case, positions) in gay relationships are very stereotypical. Also, it would be very taboo to ask a straight couple about their sex life, and the myth that gays are always comfortable talking about their sex lives is bizarre. 

Femininity = Gay  

This stereotype has been around for ages. If a man is feminine presenting in any way, shape or form it must mean he’s gay right? And that he stans Artpop? I don’t think so. In early 2000’s pop culture, male celebrities were constantly criticized and speculated to the gay in the media if they were considered to be even a little feminine. Gays, as well as just feminine men, were the punchline of many jokes in those days and luckily the narrative is changing. In 2021, the line of what is considered “gay” and “straight” is luckily changing. In fashion, music and entertainment, things that were traditionally labelled “gay” or “feminine” are being embraced and praised which we love to see! 

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Open For Business? 

Another myth I’ve noticed about gay relationships are the assumption they are always open. Not to knock open relationships because they do work for many couples worldwide, but I think it’s strange to associate them primarily for gay relationships. Every couple is different and different things work for them individually. Many gay men want traditional monogamy and a “closed” relationship with their partner, which should be supported. Communication, of course, is the most important factor in relationships: gay or straight. Boundaries should be set with your significant other early on to avoid any hurt.

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Promiscuous Boy

The last myth about gay relationships and sex in general relates to point 4 of this article. The idea that gay’s are more promiscuous that straight people has been a long time stereotype of the community. Hookup apps such as Grindr seem to have painted the gay community as sex-crazed individuals (work diva!), as if straight people don’t use Tinder for the exact same thing. According to a 2010 OkCupid study, 98% of gay respondents have had 20 or fewer partners, 99% of straight respondents answered the same. Honestly, this paragraph was just written to remind you to stream “Promiscuous” by Nelly Furtado today.


  • Jose said:

    I do not believe in Stereotypes: to me this equals to clarifying or judging someone without knowing them. I know 100% masculine guys that I have a little feminine to it, and that only makes them sexier.
    My relationship is based on trust, communication, support and I take care of my boy. You need to give a control freedom; and if we want to eat a dessert now and then, we agree what type will be. All decisions are always consulted and agree by both.

    February 15, 2022

  • Benji said:

    I agree, just because I’m a gay guy doesn’t mean there are no boundaries. We should all be able to keep certain things private if we want.

    December 29, 2021

  • tony anderson said:

    When it comes to relationships between a gay and his partner every one is very different. Many will be totally monogamous, many will be open and many will be fluid and change over time as the situations changes the key is this. Always being able to adapt is a strength of the gay relationship since we have had to adapt from day one. So be yourself and be ready for the ride of your life always.

    October 14, 2021

  • Daniel R Weir said:

    i honestly agree. it’s nobodies business. what WE do or how we act. we seriously need to get passed these arcane assumptions. i’ve never believed in top or bottom in the relationship. i strive to be equals. this makes for a wholesome relationship, gay or lesbian.

    October 07, 2021

  • Private said:

    I’ve had more than 20 in a day. Oh dear …

    October 07, 2021

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